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An [incomplete] Checklist on Becoming a White, Middle-Aged Male
2 min readApr 30, 2022
- You change the font size on your default Word document to 18 because you might actually have to read this out loud.
- You know that when the Cubs won the World Series and the subsequent parade (the 7th largest public gathering in history) it represented the true high point of our civilization.
- You explain the difference between a “Sinker,” a “Change-up,” and a “Curve ball” on a date and then wonder why she doesn’t want to go to a game with you.
- You actually think baseball is a good spectator sport because it allows for spectators to not pay attention for most the game.
- You thought the manliest thing you did this weekend was to get the evaporative cooler or furnace (depending on season) ready and when done, you were perplexed when your partner said, “Thanks,” and patted you on the back as opposed to…
- You, more often than you’d like to admit, want to hear music from your college days.
- It’s okay to no longer stand in the front row at a show because the music is just “a tad too loud.”
- You look back fondly at cars from your youth and wrote a slam poem about your first one, a ’63 Impala.
- You prefer “Kind of Blue” to “Sketches of Spain,” and don’t feel the urge to…
